Sarge: Lopez you're a regular RFR! 'Really Fast Robot'. Cause I need it PDQ! Lopez: In that case, never minus one. Lopez! How are those vehicle repairs coming? Lopez: Coming? The jeep is destroyed. Sarge: Right where I want you! Within face-stabbing range. Sarge: It's critical to keep a little pattern in our stats! That way if we're far enough ahead, I can stab Grif in the face and still stay in the lead. Sarge: The squad's kill death ratio is the most important measurement when evaluating sergeants! If you had died, that would have hurt my numbers. Simmons: Are you glad I'm here too Sarge? Sarge: Of course I am. It must have been quite an honor to serve with me.ahhh. Sarge: Yes it has, hasn't it? My skills as a leader have really taken us far.
Tell me if anything changes! Simmons: Yes sir! And sir? Sarge: Yes Simmons? Simmons: I just wanna say, I'm glad I was here to see you on your day of victory. a world that's better because we poisoned his food at that table and stabbed him in the eye with a fork and taken all his stuff. Why don't we just do it? Sarge: There's an order to this, Simmons! We can't abandon protocol just because we have an advantage! We have to give him a chance to see the errors of his Blue ways! To lay down his arms and meet us as his fellow men at the table of peace, where we can work together towards a better world.
Simmons: What I meant was, I don't see the point in announcing to him that we're going to attack. What's better? Blue person? Blue man? Bluetonian? Simmons: What I meant was. Sarge: You're right Simmons! It's not really accurate to refer to one person as a team. Simmons: I don't really see the point in the psychological warfare. Simmons: Actually sir, since it's just one of them over there. All right, that ought to scare the bejesus out of them. Chapter 1: Don't Get Me Started Sarge: Attention Blue Team! This is the Red Team! We are here to destroy you! Your long reign of being the shittiest team around is about to come to a sudden cataclysmic end! We will give you a few moments to soak in the horror of this anouncement, and then return for your reaction. And you have no one to blame but yourself. What would I ever do without you? Tex: Heh, I try my best.
#BLARGH I AM DEAD FULL#
Church: Hey, have I ever mentioned how helpful you are to me? I mean you're so full of fucking wisdom. Tex: Well then if we're not done, let's get started. But with less fire on me this time! Church: No. Tex: Okay, so then we're done? Caboose: Okay, let's try that again. Church: It's just a long way back for us. Caboose: Why does it keep chasing me?! Ahh, that's nice. Like someone encased me in cement and fired me into the sun dead. That's much worse than other things burning! Church: Sure feels like being dead.
Church: Yeah, but look who's left to remember me. They say your never COMPLETELY dead if someone still remembers you. Tex: Well, what are you going to do about it Church? Church: Do? What can I do Tex, I'm dead. Caboose: I mean it! Church: Sigh, this has all gone so wrong. Caboose: Please stop burning! Nothing else burn! Church: And look at this, this is my legacy? I mean what did I do with my life to deserve this. Church: If I was killed by an alien, or a monster, or some sorority blow job massacre, that I could handle. You know, I can't believe those idiots are responsible for my death. Ĭhurch: Sigh, great, I'm sure this will all end well.
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